I want to quit.

as much as I want to quit at times, I can’t avoid the fact that hip-hop is what I know and God wants me to use what I know to glorify Him. – JustMe

This is the single thing (the last part) that keeps me going. It’s the only thing that’s worth it anyway.

I pray that each of us would adjust our thinking to see how we can truly serve Jesus with our time and talents. Maybe some of these frustrations will never go away but at least as individuals we will know that we’re having an impact (for better) on people.

I now work a day job 25-30 hours a week because I was getting stiffed by PR/Radio clients more often than I was getting paid. LOTS of money. I mean, a lot and for me it was enough to pay our family bills AND cover the website debts. This was the single most crushing and discouraging time of my life and it really messed me up. I thought “How could Christians, especially those in such leadership positions, do this to me?” I allowed it to steal my motivation and crush my passion.

It was hard to deal with the fact that I was chosen, entrusted with so much etc. Quickly I became bitter and frustrated. A few of you reading this have heard me at my worst on the phone sharing how broken this all felt to me.

In the last 12 years I have given up hobbies, free time, enough money to buy a house + pay off all my debt + buy 2 new cars, etc… to serve. BUT… If given the choice to do it all over again, I would without hesitation. I’ve been blessed to help illuminate the path to Jesus for many people. I’ve been blessed to help equip hundreds of artists to do their thing. I’ve been blessed flat out to serve and give.

The beef… if we’re serious, is small potatoes when it comes to kingdom building. It’s painfully obvious, to me at least, anymore when someone is really focusing on the right things and not of trivial side shows. I often got caught up in that. Too much. I try to flee from that focus stealing sin as quickly as I can anymore.

Not sure if this means anything or not… I would encourage each of you to continue on and worry only about pleasing the Father and following His Word. Pleasing man isn’t worth the time or frustration.

I wrote this a few days ago here. Then I wrote… How Do We Fix It?

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4 Responses to I want to quit.

  1. J-Red says:

    Be encouraged man, your service has touched a ton of people. Living for the next life is not easy. You’re a living testament that it is possible! God bless you, your family, and all that is SOHH.

  2. Josh says:

    Jared, thanks man for the words. I appreciate it.

  3. Ivan says:

    You forgot the amount of movies and TV series you’ve missed. I’m here behind my PC for a whole evening and forgot my plan… watch a movie. Then again all e-mails have been checked ;)

  4. Josh says:

    That is true haha.

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